Smiles for u

Missing Taxi Driver
Magistrate: ‘What was he doing when you arrested him?’
Policeman: ‘He was arguing with a taxi driver, Your Honor.’
Magistrate: ‘That is no proof he was drunk.’
Policeman: ‘Well, Your Honor, there was no taxi driver there.’

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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that
we didn't have ten years ago.
KIRAN: Its Me!

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CHAKRI: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
CHAKRI: Your name on this report card.

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Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

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Manmohan Singh to Bush - We are sending Indians to the moon next year.
Bush - Wow! How Many?
Manmohan Singh - 100
25 - OBC
25 - SC
20 - ST
5 - Handicapped
5 - Sports Persons
5 - Terrorist Affected
5 - Kashmiri Migrants
9 - Politicians and
if no further recomendations then possibly
1 - Astronaut.
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pinki: If I die what'll you do?
chintu: I may also die.
pinki: Why?
chintu: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.
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Sardar Jokes Collection 2........................

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

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After returning back from a foreign trip, Aadhi asked his wife,Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?Aadhi: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

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Sardar is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardar replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"

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Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".

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one day sardar was walking on the road with cell in his handone theif taks sardar's cell and runs away
then sardar says "pora dani charger naa daggare undi!!"

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A reporter asked Sardar "What is the main reason for a divorce ?""Marriage"

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interviewer: what is the fastest thing..
candidate 1: i think light..
c 2: thoughts..
c 3: i guess it is blink of an eye..
c4(sardar) : it is loose motion..
interviewer : howz that..??
sardar : last night i had cramps in my stomach..
before i could think .. blink .. or switch on the light ..
it was out and done..

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Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night.
DR: take this tablet you will be ok.
Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final game.

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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go

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Sardar's wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died
peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he was driving..

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Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
There he finds the meaning as 'U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"

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A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in> the line said,> "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****).> The first sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong, Its 1258.

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Q:) How do u recognize a sardar in school or college???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard

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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else

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Napolean to Sardar -" There is no word called impossible in my Dictionary!!
"Sardar - " No use complaining now.. You should have checked it while buying!! "

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Teacher to Sardar " Where were U born?
Sardar : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Sardar : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.

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Sardarji was asked, what is a adult joke?
Reply came any joke which is eighteen years old.

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Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the,
woh kya soch rahe honge.... think............."SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI HAI"

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Sardar - Why r all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar - If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

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INTERVIEW: Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caughtFire?
Mr. X: Simple, stop imagining.

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Mr. X: in my dreams rats play football every night.
DR: take this tablet you will be ok.
Mr. X: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

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Sardar Jokes Collection. 1........................

A Teacher told all Students in a class to write as essay on a CricketMatch.
All were busy in writing except one Sardar.
When the teacher asked Saardar for the reason..
and saw the paper.. in the paper He Wrote as
"DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH"
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Sardar at an art gallery "I suppose this horrible lookingthing is what you call a modern Art?"
Art Dealer "I beg your pardon sir. Thats a mirror!"
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A Sardar G goes to Doctor and says:
Sardar G: Doctor, I feel swear pain when i touch my body anywhere.
Doctor xrays entire body and find that the Sardar G's finger is fractured.
.......................................................................................................................................
Once 3 Sardars decided to go on a picnic.When they got there, they realized that they had forgotten the soda.The youngest Sardar said he would go home & get it if they wouldn't eat the snacks until he got back.
An hr went by,

then a 5hrs ,
finally its worse,
then 2 Sardars said 'oh, come on, lets eat the snacks'
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Suddenly the Young Sardar popped up from behind a rock and said'If you do like this, I won't go' -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.Sardar
1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.sardar
2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
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How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.
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Which year? Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR interviewer: what is your birth date? Sardar: 13th October Which year? Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
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Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
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Manager asked to sardar at an interview Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
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Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English. Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware' Teacher: What? Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddha
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Sardar: "No, who wrote it?"
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Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
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Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
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Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
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How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
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"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
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What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
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TO LOOSE WEIGHT...
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would
loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had
lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm
2400 kms from home."
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EMPLOYMENT?
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the
columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary
Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he
wrote : Yes
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DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a
double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But
unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa
went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching
the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What
the heck's going' on? Why are you scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?"
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "
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Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," comes an answer.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!
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Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk:
"Can I take this train to Ludhiana?". "No," answers the Railway man. "Can I?" asks
Gani Singh.
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Englishman, an American, and a Sardarji were called upon to test a lie detector.
The Englishman said, T think I can empty 20 bottles of beer.' BUZZZZZ went the lie detector.
'OK,' he said, '10 bottles.' And the machine was silent. , .
The American said, 'I think I can eat 15 hamburgers.' BUZZZZZ went the lie detector.
'Alright, 8 hamburgers.' And the machine was silent.
The Sardarji said, ‘I think ...'
BUZZZZZ went the machine!
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SARDAR LAST PAINTING






......................................................................................
5anta saw that his friend Ram Lai was very depressed.
'What happened?' asked Santa.
'Yaar, I lost Rs 800 in a bet yesterday.'
'How come?'
'Well, yesterday, the one day match between India and England was being shown live on TV I bet Rs 500 that India would win, but I lost the bet.'
'But that's only Rs 500, where did the rest go?'
'Yaar, I bet on the highlights too!'
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Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore. The questions are as follows:
1) How long was the 100 yr war?A) 116B) 99C) 100D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?A) BRASILB) CHILEC) PANAMAD) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?A) JANUARYB) SEPTEMBERC) OCTOBERD) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?A) EDERB) ALBERTC) GEORGED) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based onwhich animal:A) CANARY BIRDB) KANGAROOC) PUPPYD) RAT

Sardar gives up.

SCROLL DOWN.......


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If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, thenplease check the answers below:
1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) The Panama hat is made in Equador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November

4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands ofthe puppies.

Now tell me who's the dumb one....

Great minds reallly gud and som jokes

A Wise Old Man

A wise old man who was a judge, was asked to settle a dispute between two brothers about the fair division of a large estate left them by their father.

"Let one brother divide the estate," said the judge," and let the other brother have the first choice in choosing his share."

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Coincidence

In a kindergarten school, a teacher asked her class to give examples of coincidence.

There was a long silence, then a small boy said: "My father & my mother were married the same day."

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TEACHER : George, go to the map and find North America .

GEORGE : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS : George!

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When I was young I used to pray for a bike,

then I realized that God doesn't work that way,

so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness

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Doctor to patient : YOu will die within 2 hours.

Do you want to see any one before you die.

Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

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Engineers Interview..........

INTERVIEW

Subj: Electrical engg

People come up with peculiar or funny answers in interviews or exams:

Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C. as

compared to D.C. ?

Candidate: An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more

space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.

Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC ?

Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is DC. If it gets stuck, it

was AC.

Interviewer: How will you reverse direction of an induction motor?

Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the base, turn the motor around, and put

back the bolts.

Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?

Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)

Interviewer: Stop! Stop!

Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)

Interviewer: How do you limit surge current within an integrated circuit?

Candidate: By using a miniature circuit breaker.

External (to student) : " Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC to pass through

?

Student: See, a capacitor is like this --- --- , OK. DC Comes straight, like this -----

-----, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, Up DOWN and jumps right

over the capacitor!"

Examiner : "What is a step-up transformer?"

Student : "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."

Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"

Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transfomer that is put in the basement or in a pit?"

Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the

ground?"

(student knows he is caught -- can't answer)

Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"

Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!

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THE GLASS

There is a glass half full of water:

Mathematician: the glass is half full

Physicist: the glass is half empty

Engineer: the glass is too big

--------------------------------

Conversations ..........

Ramu : Hey.. my submarine is not sinking into the water!! what could be wrong?

Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the software.

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Ramu : hey.. I couldn’t send a mail to Hell today... it says mail "demon" not running...

Somu : ur case is better.. for me, it says "ghost not reachable" and bounces back!

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Funny long lined ........

SOME ROMANTIC COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD
These are some of the romantic countries in the world.
H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.
K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.
C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction.
K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity.
E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.
T.H.A.I.L.A.N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull.

Introduction

I

for the comedy,.................